Notes from Behind the Scenes of Breast Cancer by Brenda Ladun

Being a TV news anchor may appear to be a charmed life. But behind the scenes, as everyone learns, there are ups and downs, deaths, sicknesses, and other struggles in this life. I've learned over the years that the important thing in life is not necessarily the problem, but how I react to the problem. Do I trust God? Or do I get mad at Him and reject His love? Or do I submit to His will, pray,pray some more, trust Him more, give Him honor and glory, and hold on to my joy in Him?

Sure, life is full of potholes, but I'm convinced we've been put here to learn and grow and glorify God through our actions. You may wonder how I'm certain this life has something do with growing in faith and grace. I have battled cancer with Him and I have survived. I'm a living, breathing testimony that it's not only possible, but also fruitful to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and to be an overcomer through God.

If you look, you may not be able to understand it, but you can recognize God's tapestry in how He has ordered our lives and orchestrated our circumstances to help one another, no matter what difficulties we face and endure. I find the more I reach out to help others, the more I'm blessed in return. Although that's not the reason for reaching out, it's a side effect, and a good one. And I'm thankful for those who have reached out to comfort me.

Many people assume that once you are past the cancer, life is a breeze. For me, nothing compared to the feelings of going through the fight for life. But after the battle with cancer, the death of my father...behind the scenes of each struggle, the Lord held us, molded us, encouraged us, and led us to new spiritual heights. I can see how He used the cancer experience to help me get through future crisis situations.

As running or walking up a hill makes you stronger physically, God strengthened me through hard times. Many cancer survivors I've talked to agree: The skies are a little bluer, sunsets are more beautiful, and life is sweeter when we allow God to reveal our blessings to us through our difficulties. It's when you are about to lose something that everything seems more precious. Facing the loss of life makes every breath and every moment with loved ones incredibly special and sweet because we have been faced with death.

I pray I will remember the lesson God taught me through cancer and I won't go back to the old way of not appreciating life. I have to be honest. I don't always react the way I wish I would. Life has a way of getting busy again. It has a way of rolling along. And it also has many of the same potholes that I fell in before. Let's face it; life is not perfect. But learning to lean more and more on the Lord Jesus Christ has constantly reassured me. He's always there when I'm ready to fall, fear, or give up. He continually renews my strength and even in the hardest times, the Lord has delivered joy and blessings as I pray, turn to His Word, and surrender to Him.

How our perspective changes when we can look at the troubles of this world and fully understand and expect something better when we pass from here! But while we are here, it's easy to be blind to the greatness of God unless we open our hearts up to what His grace means to us every day. One way to access that understanding is to pray.

God wants to hear from us about every aspect of our lives, and we're not bothering Him. He wants to be a part of our day. I've learned through cancer to pray about everything. Do I pray every time I have to make a decision? No, I have to admit I slip. But I can tell there is a difference from when I pray about a decision and when I don't. When I pray about decisions or actions in my life, things work out better. When I try to control everything and fix everything, things don't go welll at all. When I think I can do all things on my own, I often feel like I'm trudging up a mountain in a blinding snowstorm against the wind. Even if it's a simple thing that I didn't pray about, it can turn into the most complicated trial I've ever been through.

God answers prayer. Not always the way we conceive He will answer, but He does answer according to His will. Sometimes He heals here on earth and sometimes in heaven. The more I study the reality of heaven, I think the real sorrow is for those of us left here on earth, who continue to face disease, crime, and hardships, while our loved ones in heaven are in a greater and perfect place.

Did I pray for healing during my cancer battle? Yes. I specifically asked Him for healing. I also surrendered my life and everything about it into God's hands and that felt good. Many others were praying for me as well. And it's amazing what God did.

The love of God can heal us here and in heaven. There is such awesome power that we cannot fully understand. The question is, Why do some people get healed here on earth and others don't? I asked Susan Peterson's pastor that very question. He's been in the ministry for 23 years. He's seen people healed miraculously after prayer and others who were not. He can't explain why and says we won't fully know why until we see the face of God in heaven.

God has a time we are to be born and to die. I believe prayer can affect outcomes of health. But when we and our loved ones are taken home to heaven, this also is a victory. That's why we don't have to fear death. Yes, we miss our loved ones when they are gone from this earth, but we can know they truly are in a better place....Cancer made me face the truth that we have a limited number of days on this earth.

I know there are times when I need to trust God more. I know if I trust Him to help me through the not-so-tough times as well as the times filled with crisis, I'll see more blessings. I know I've come a long way in trusting God and also know I need to trust him even more. After all, if I can trust Him to take care of the tiniest details...I can trust Him to take care of every aspect of my life.

It's hard to understand even after much prayer why some lose their battles with cancer, and others survive. But the truth is that we are all here for a relatively short time. Even a hundred years is a blink of an eye.

God has a plan and a time for everything in our lives. Sometimes months or years after a crisis, I can see how God used it for good. I know if I depend fully on God instead of myself, He will show me where I'm supposed to go and what I am supposed to do.

It's only God who can take our weaknesses and shine by making us strong through those weaknesses. I'm learning fear is destructive; trusting God is not.

Since cancer, big things don't worry me as much as the little things. I know God will handle the big stuff. He already has in helping me through cancer. It's the little things in life that are easier to get caught worrying about.

People who endure cancer, experience the fact that all this could end in an instant.

How often do we have a plan? But our plans and we ourselves aren't big enough to cover it all. Face it; we need God to cover it all. We are mortal. We can die at any moment. Life, as I learned through cancer, is very fragile...God is the only way - the only way to have true hope.

Being very ill and lying in a hospital bed with a deadly condition is scary but we learn ultimately we're in God's hands. Why does God allow pain and heartache? Whew, that's a question with which many of us struggle. But the truth is, the Lord is glorified the most during our hardest moments in life. The more we lean on Him during those tough times, the more we can see Him working.

These bodies we are given do wear out. The one thing that we can count on even when our body fails is that God gives us a promise of hope and a future...That future isn't here on this earth in these bodies; He promises a future in heaven, a real place, a different world.

The hope that is needed to survive breast cancer and other troubles we human encounter can come only from the Lord.....my hope continues to come from the Lord. He showed me my trust and hope in Him is well placed; He will take care of every detail. I know if He carried me through one of the most harrowing storms of my life, He can carry me through anything. He used the whole cancer experience to help strengthen our relationship. That personal relationship and the time I spend with God sustains me through everything in life. And the beautiful thing about growing in Christ is that there is always something new to learn.

Years after cancer, I realize I've come a long way as a Christian, but I also have a long way to go. But even though I know I'm a sinner, I know the Lord forgives me and give me hope for tomorrow.

Even though I trusted God every step of the way, I still had moments of doubt. I remember the shock, fear, and denial.

This whole ordeal makes me think about how fortunate I was that God doesn't work like an insurance company. There is no cost for a deductible. He doesn't cancel our policy if we call on Him to help us too much. The more we pray and depend on Him, the better He likes it.

He will help anyone who loves Him, believes in Him, and trusts Him. There is not a complicated contract. Having a personal relationship with the Lord is much easier than signing up for car insurance. My question is this: Why don't more people believe in the Lord? He provides such assurance and security.

If you love God and put Him first, everything else in life falls into place.

If I focused on everything I lost in the last five years I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. I could not own the joy that the Lord clearly promises in His Word. Is it easy to get stuck looking in the mirror of what's wrong with my life? Yes, but with God's help and turning it over to Him and accepting His will in my life, I can find the blessings.

Through the hurts of the last five years, I had to learn to forgive myself. Forgiving and letting painful memories go and letting God control my life is simply healthy. There's no need for stress. In recent years, scientists have discovered what God has been telling us in His Word for centuries. Take care of your body. Your body is a temple. How you take care of it glorifies Him. Stress releases bad chemicals in your body that can hurt your heart, lead to high blood pressure, and possibly even cancer. By resolving conflict with others and in your own life, you can reduce the stress of your life.

That doesn't mean sweep problems under the rug or let them fester. The Lord has told us not to let the sun go down on our anger (Ephesians 4:26). We need to deal with conflicts on a daily basis. Don't deal with them in a hurtful or combative way, but talk it out. That's healthy. Resolving conflict actually has a feeling. You can feel pressure lift off your body, "off your chest," as they say. I'm throwing away regret. I'm releasing myself of the worry about what caused my cancer, and from the worry of the what ifs in life. The Lord is always there with His Word and His power to save us from ourselves.

The one thing that doesn't crumble but gets stronger with time is God's relationship with us. We have an assurance to live with Him forever.

Accepting what we can't change and looking for God's molding through it is one way to find peace. Accepting God's plan for our lives is hard. Our trials may include sickness, job loss, or death in the family. These are all things that are hard for us to handle on our own. But the good news is that we don't have to handle anything alone. But as I've said, I've learned over the years, sometimes that healing happens in heaven, not on earth. Submitting to His will and accepting His promises can give us hope and peace. Letting go and saying, "God, You know best," is such a relief.

Even in the times we are hurting the most, God moves people to show their love for us by delivering meals, telling us jokes, making us laugh. He did that for me....When God moves you to encourage someone, don't hesitate. I would get an encouraging word the minute I had a doubt. The very minute I started to go into a pit of depression or feel like I couldn't go on, there was someone there to provide the exact answer to my question with a specific Bible verse.

The great news is that God loves you no matter what. You don't have to be perfect for Him to love you. He loves all of us equally. So if you've ever felt second fiddle in your family, the good news is you are not second fiddle with God. He loves you even when you sin, or mess up. He loves you when you don't feel like you love yourself. You are precious to Him and important enough for Him to die for! When you don't feel like you have a friend, like the old hymn says, you have a friend in Jesus. He wants a relationship with you.

Love, if you think about it, is powerful. Love can make the difference in someone having the will to fight to be healed. Even if you feel alone, God wants you to know you are His and He is there every step of the way. God loves you and I do too! Pass it on!