Develop Better Relationships

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we know somebody really believes in us.

If you want your life to increase, if you want your life to get better, then you need to help improve somebody else's life. If you will help somebody else become successful, God will make sure that you are successful.

God puts people in our lives on purpose so we can help them succeed and help them become all He created them to be. Most people will not reach their full potential without somebody else believing in them. That means you and I have an assignment. Everywhere we go we should be encouraging people, building them up, challenging them to reach for new heights. When people are around us, they should leave better off than they were previously.

You have something to offer that nobody else can give. Somebody needs your encouragement. Somebody needs to know that you believe in him, that you're for him, that you think he has what it takes to succeed. If you look back over your own life, most likely you'll find someone who played a pivotal role in helping you to get where you are today.

Maybe they saw something in you that you may not have seen in yourself, and they helped you get to that next level. Now, it's your turn to do something similar for somebody else. Who are you believing in? Who are you cheering on? Relationships are more important than our accomplishments.

The Bible says in First Corinthians 8 verse 1, that love encourages people to grow to their full stature. When you believe the best in people, you help to bring the best out of them.

Are you believing the best in your loved ones? Maybe some of them have gotten off course. Don't give up on them; don't write them off. Make sure they know that you're concerned. Make sure they know that you really believe in them.

Here's the key: Don't focus on what they are right now. Focus on what they can become. See the potential on the inside. They may have some bad habits, or they may be doing some things that you don't like, but don't judge them for it. Don't look down on them critically. Find some way to challenge them to rise higher.

You'll be pleasantly surprised at how people respond when they know you really care.

As a rule, you never bring out the best in someone by condemning and criticizing, or verbally beathing a person down. You bring out the best by love. You bring it out by showing people that you care. Your friends, family members, or coworkers may do some things you don't like or that you find offensive; they may have some bad habits, but don't focus on their weaknesses. Find something they're doing right and encourage them for that.

I heard somebody say, "Complimenting each other is the glue that holds relationships together." With so many things working against good relationships nowadays, it's amazing what a kind word here and there will do.

Be free with your compliments and be quick to vocalize them. Remember, your thoughts don't bless anybody but you. You can think good thoughts about somebody all day long, but it's not going to do them one bit of good. You must verbalize those thoughts; speak them out. Every day, try to find somebody you can compliment, someone you can build up.

Relationships are what really matter in life--our relationship to God, with our spouse, children, extended family member, friends, and others within our communities--yet all too often, we allow these relationships to occupy much lower positions that they deserve on our priority lists. If we are not careful, we can allow something or somebody to drive a wedge between ourselves and the people who are most precious to us.

To maintain healthy relationships, we need to learn how to keep the strife out of our lives. God made each of us as unique individuals. Every person has faults; we all have weaknesses. We should not expect the people with whom we are in a relationship to be perfect.

Too many homes are being destroyed through strife, lack of commitment, wrong priorities, and bad attitudes. If we're going to have strong, healthy relationships, we must dig our heels in and fight for our families.

Certainly, not everyone will get married, but if a man and a woman choose to marry, two issues must be settled first. Number one: As a couple, we are committed to God. We're going to live a life that honors Him. We will be people of excellence and integrity in all that we do.

The second settled issue must be that as a couple, we are committed to each other. Occasionally, we may disagree, say things we shouldn't, we might even pout or get downright angry. But when it's all said and done, we're going to get over it, and we will forgive and move on. Leaving is not an option. We're committed to each other through the good times and the tough times.

If bailing out of the relationship is an option or an alternative, then you will always find some reason to justify it.

Truth is, no two people are completely compatible. We have to learn to become one. That means we may have to make sacrifices; we may have to overlook some things. We must be willing to compromise for the good of the relationship.

The perfect spouse does not exist. Stick with your spouse and make that relationship work. When you do have disagreements, learn to disagree from the neck up. Don't let it get down to your heart. Give others the right to have their own opinions. Do your best to create an atmosphere of peace and unity ion your home. Take a deep breath, pause about ten seconds, and think about what you're going to say before you speak. Words can cut like a knife. You may say them in a matter of seconds, but three months later the person to whom you spoke them may still be feeling the sting.

Anger is an emotion God built into us. But we don't have to blow up and say hurtful things that are going to damage our relationships. Learn to take a step back, collect your thoughts, and think about what you want to say.

Try to create a fun-filled atmosphere in your home. Everyone experiences stressful times; we all get uptight. We all have disagreements, but we should not allow them to linger.

Marriage is a commitment, not a feeling.

Men, open the car door for your wife. Take her coffee in the morning. Go out of your way to show her love, honor, and respect. I heard somebody say, "If a man opens the car door for his wife, he's either got a new car or a new wife." Perhaps we need to return to a society that encourages men to respect and honor women.

"If I do that sort of thing, my friends may think I'm a weakling," a guy might say. "They may give me a hard time."

If that's the case, you probably ought to find some new friends. A real man's masculinity is not diminished because he opens the car door for his wife. Being male doesn't necessarily make you a man. Treating people with dignity and respect makes you a man. Taking care of your wife and family makes you a man.

Granted, you may not have grown up in that kind of loving environment, but you can set a new standard. You can raise the bar.

If you want your relationships to thrive, you must invest in them by being a giver rather than a taker. Everywhere you go, strive to make relational deposits into people's lives, encouraging them, building them up, and helping them to feel better about themselves.

I like to think of my relationships as "emotional bank accounts." I have an account with every person with whom I have a relationship--whether a family member, a business associate, friends, even some of the people I meet in passing. Every time I interact with them, I'm either making a deposit or making a withdrawal from that account.

How do you make a deposit? It can be something as simple as taking the time to walk over and shake that man's hand. "How are you doing today? Good morning. Good to see you."

Just the simple fact that you went out of your way to make him feel important made a deposit into that account. Your act of kindness built trust and respect. You can make a deposit simply by smiling at somebody, acknowledging them, being friendly, being pleasant to them in ordinary circumstances.

When you compliment people, you're making a deposit. When you do such things, you are not merely giving a compliment, you are making a deposit into the account you share with that person.

A subtle yet amazingly effective means of making a deposit is by overlooking a fault. Maybe a coworker is rude to you and he jumps down your throat about some meaningless matter. Instead of retaliating, you let it go.

When you do such things, you make huge deposits into your account with that person. You stock goes up significantly on his scale. Perhaps one day when you're a bit stressed and on edge, and maybe you don't treat him as well as you normally would, you'll have plenty in your account to cover it.

How do we make withdrawals from our relationship accounts? The most common way of making withdrawals is through selfish behavior. When we're thinking only about what we want and what we need, we will inevitably withdraw resources from our relationship accounts. We make withdrawals when we don't take time for people.

Other ways of making withdrawals include those incidents in which we don't forgive, when we don't keep our commitments, when we don't express appreciation to someone to whom it is due. Maybe somebody does something nice for you by going out of her way, but you take it for granted. Failure to appreciate the kindness of others will always result in a withdrawal from your account with those people.

The problem in many relationships is that our accounts are overdrawn. When we make a mistake and we need a little mercy, understanding, or the benefit of the doubt, that person goes to our relationship account and discovers it is already empty. Minor issues become magnified. We have to guard every little word that we say, because there's no reservoir of grace from which to draw in that relationship.

If you're going to correct someone, or maybe you're going to offer some constructive criticism, you need to make sure that you've made plenty of deposits into your account with that person. Make sure you've earned that person's respect.

It's amazing how people will respond when they know that you're rooting for them, that you are in their corner, wanting them to do well. Oftentimes, they will be willing to change when they know you're not trying to condemn them, that you are not trying to put them down or make them feel bad about themselves. True corrections always inspires people to want to do better.

If you'll make it a priority to keep your emotional accounts full in your relationships, you will have far fewer problems with people receiving suggestions and receiving corrections from you.

When you are trying to improve a relationship, if your words or actions cause the other person to become defensive, you've defeated your purpose. They are not going to receive what you have to say. They may get their feelings hurt, or they'll start pointing out your faults.

Genuine love overlooks a fault. Love makes allowances for mistakes. True love sees the best in every person.

Everywhere we go we should be making deposits. Take time to let someone know that you care. Go out of your way to show somebody that he or she is special.

Learn to appreciate people. Learn to say thank you.

Take time for people; make them feel special; learn to appreciate them.

Understand that every person needs encouragement, no matter who he or she is or how successful they appear.

Rather than trying to figure out what everybody can do for you, start looking for things that you can do for somebody else. Make relational deposits wherever you go. Be a giver rather that a taker. As you do so, your relationship will not only get better, but you also will see God's favor in a greater way, and you will experience more of His blessings.