Letting Go of Emotional Wounds - Don't Be Bitter

If we are bitter and resentful, it's because we are allowing ourselves to remain that way. We've all had negative things happen to us. If you look hard enough, you can easily find reasons to have a chip on your shoulder. Anyone can make excuses and blame the past for his or her bad attitudes, poor choices, or hot temper.

You may have valid reasons for feeling the way you do. You may have gone through things that nobody deserves to experience in life. You cannot use past emotional woulds as an excuse for making poor choices today. You dare not use your past as an excuse for your current bad attitude, or as a rationalization for your unwillingness to forgive somebody. Let go of the past.

It's time to allow emotional wounds to heal, to let go of your excuses and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's time to get rid of your victim mentality. Nobody - not even God - ever promised that life would be fair. Quit comparing your life to somebody else's, and quit dwelling on what could have been, should have been, or might have been.

Instead, take what God has given you and make the most of it. You may have suffered much, endured great hardships, or been through a lot of negative things. You may have deep scars from emotional wounds, but don't let your past determine your future. You can't do anything about what's happened to you, but you can choose how you will face what's in front of you. Don't hold on to feelings of bitterness and resentment and let them poison your future. Let go of those hurts and pains. Forgive the people who did you wrong. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.

You may even need to forgive God. Perhaps you've been blaming Him for taking one of your loved ones. Maybe you are angry at God because He didn't answer your prayers, or some situation didn't work out the way you had hoped. Regardless, you will never be truly happy as long as you harbor bitterness in your heart. You will wallow in self-pity, always feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that life hasn't dealt you a fair hand. You must let go of those negative attitudes and the accompanying anger. Don't let your mind or your emotions drag you down into despair. Instead, dwell on the good things God has done in your life.

If you've had something painful happen to you, don't let that experience be the focal point of your life. Stop talking about it; stop bringing it up to your friends. You must get beyond it. Unless you let go of the old, God will not bring the new. It is natural to feel sorrow and to grieve, but you shouldn't still be grieving five or ten years later. If you really want to be whole, if you really want to get well, you need to move on with your life. Remember, your emotions follow your thoughts.

Too often we keep reliving the painful memories of the past, negating God's desire to bring healing. Just as we are about to heal, we start talking about our painful experience again. We start reliving it, seeing it in our imagination. All of a sudden, we can feel those same emotions all over again, as though we were tearing open the old wound. When you dwell on painful experiences in your past, your emotions go right back there with you, and you feel the pain in the present. You can relive something in your mind and feel it today just as vividly as when it happened. Refuse to go back there emotionally; refuse to dredge up negative emotional memories. They will do you no good; in fact, strongly felt negative emotions can hold the potential to severely stifle your progress.

I think many people today have lingering disorders. Their maladies may not be physical; they may be emotional, but they are deep-seated, lingering disorders nontheless. They could stem from being unwilling to forgive, holding on to past resentments, blaming the past for their behavior, or other emotional wounds. These lingering disorders can affect your personality, your relationships, and your self-image. Stop making excuses; stop blaming people or circumstances that disappointed you. Instead, start forgiving the people that hurt you. Today can be a turning point in your life, a time of new beginnings. Trust in God, and accept the fact that there will be some unanswered questions. Keep in mind, just because you don't know the answer doesn't mean that one does not exist. You simply haven't discovered it yet.

Each of us should have what I call an "I Don't Understand It" file. When something comes up for which you have no reasonable answer, instead of dwellling on it and trying to figure it out, simply place it in your I Don't Understand It file. In the meantime, you must muster enough faith to say, "God, I don't understand it, but I trust You. And I'm not going to spend all my time trying to figure out why certain things have happened. I'm going to trust You have my best interests at heart. You promised that all things will work together for my good." That is faith, and that is the attitude God honors. Your adversities can make you bitter or they can make you better. They can drag you down and make you a sour person, or they can inspire you to reach for new heights. Your past does not have to determine your future. If we want to live in victory, we need to shake off self-pity and move on with our lives.

Sometimes we go through things we just don't understand. Through it all, we must learn to keep a good attitude and trust that God is still in control of our lives, even when events are not going the way we had planned or hoped. People may have mistreated you. Somebody may have walked out on you, or maybe you prayed fervently, yet God didn't answer your prayer the way you had anticipated. That's over and done. You cannot change the past; there's nothing you can do about it now. But you must make a decision. Are you going to keep reliving all those painful memories, or are you going to stay in an attitude of faith? God is asking, "Do you really want to get well?"

If you do, you must walk out of any emotional bondage in which you have been living. Nobody can do it for you. You must rise up out of those ashes. You must forgive the people who have hurt you. You have to release all those hurts and pains. Leave the past behind. When you go through situations you don't understand, don't become bitter. Don't question God. Just wash your face, keep a good attitude, and move on. Get ready for the new things God has in store for you.

If you will stay in an attitude of faith and victory, God has promised that He will turn those emotional wounds around. He'll use them to your advantage, and you will come out better than you would have had they not happened to you.

We all have unfair and unjust things happen to us; that's a part of life. When we are hurt, we can choose to hold on to that pain and become bitter, or we can choose to let it go and trust God to make it up to us.

People who harbor anger often don't realize it, but they are poisoning their own lives. When we don't forgive, we're not hurting the other person. We're not hurting God. We're only hurting ourselves.

If you want to live your best life now, you must be quick to forgive. Learn to let go of the hurts and pains of the past. Don't let bitterness take root in your life. It doesn't do any good to go around hating somebody. Nor does it make any sense to stay angry for what somebody's already done to you. You can't do anything about the past, but you can do something about the future. You might as well forgive and start trusting God to make it up to you.