Our attitude toward the world around us depends upon what we are ourselves. If we are selfish, we will be suspicious of others. If we are generous in nature, we will be likely to be more trustful. If we are quite honest with ourselves, we won't always be anticipating deceit in others. If we are inclined to be fair, we won't feel that we are being cheated. In a sense, looking at the people around you is like looking in the mirror. You see a reflection of yourself.
You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Make them work for you instead of against you.
When you think about what really makes up you, the really important things are your heart, mind and soul. It is the inside. It is this part of you that allows your uniqueness, your greatest treasure, to show through.
Your heartprint is what you leave when you touch the life of another person. It is the impact and effect you have on another's life. Heartprints leave indelible imprints, ones that sustain and enrich a life for years to come. The only way to leave a true heartprint is to be uniquely you and to share with another person the essence of who you are - no masks, no charades, just the bona fide you. The magic about sharing the uniquely original you is that the more you do it, the more unique you become. You begin to feel more comfortable and more fulfilled personally.
One of the modes of self-discovery is to emulate behaviors we see in others. You might see someone doing something that you like and say to yourself, "Wow, I like what she did. I'm going to try on that behavior and see how it fits." If you like the way the behavior feels, you might make it a part of you. Bit by bit, piece by piece, you put the puzzle of self together. It is okay and natural to emulate others, but never to the extent that you want to become them. Become you and only you.
Labels are the enemy of uniqueness. When someone labels another person, the connotations associated with the label are negative. Even giving someone a "good" label can be limiting to the person and to yourself. The more you know about someone, the closer you approach the understanding point on the continuum, and the less the label that you originally attached to the person fits. When you make a commitment to understand others, then your labeling of others begins to unravel. The labels are replaced with respect for the uniqueness of the individual. Labels support unhappiness and unfulfilled living. Our job is to create for ourselves a great life. Part of that is determined by how we greet the world. We become what we repeatedly tell ourselves we are.
Smiles are incredible things. They transcend continental borders, cultures, age, and gender. They are not learned - smiles are instinctual. Smiles can connect you with a total stranger, comfort a sick child, enhance an intimate moment, and warm your soul. What a gift - and it was given to you, free. Smiles manifest magic in multiples. Think about what one smile can do. If you are by yourself, it can make you feel good. If you are with one other person, two people now feel good.
Our precious energy should not be expended on other peoples' integrity, but rather on what we are doing to enhance our own integrity. Integrity is the essence of who we are. It is the soul part of us, the center from which we make decisions. Our focus needs to stay within. The only way for someone else to determine your integrity is for them to compare your actions and your words. Consistency shows integrity, incongruence points to a problem. When you don't walk the talk, your credibility suffers, which in turn undermines your relationship with others. You owe it to yourself to match word and deed - the fruits will follow. Walking your talk is a basic level of integrity, integrity as defined by others.
Resolution only means that I am determined to do something, which is much less significant than a promise. We should all be more aware of the promises we make. If you constantly break promises, people will lose respect for your word. Promise-making is serious business because promises have a direct impact on your own personal integrity. Only make promises you can fulfill. Remember that promises you make to yourself are as important as promises you make to others. When fulfilling a promise to someone else, consciously make them aware that you are doing what you promised. Be a role model for others in the promise keeping business. Let people know that promise-keeping is a value of yours. If for some reason you are unable to fulfill a promise, explain why and apologize to the person.
We must constantly have dreams, for they propel us into future opportunities, experiences, and growth. While recognizing thte importance of realizing a specific dream, we must remind ourselves that any single dream is only part of the journey, a signpost on the road of life. When we fulfill one dream, it's time to venture down another path in search of other dreams. Dreaming is a perpetual activity that enriches the spirit and adds luster to your life. Dreams must be acted on. Otherwise, they are just beautiful images painted by the mind. You may think you're being noble when you put your dreams on hold, but by doing so you are stealing from your own reservoir of riches. You deny yourself emotional and spiritual gifts that would add wonder and excitement to your life. When you put your dreams on the front burner, however, your transformed self enables you to touch the lives of others more effectively.
Discomfort tells us something is wrong. It serves as an important and necessary catalyst for action - for change. The essence of dealing effectively with change is your reaction to change. You must give yourself permission to experience change, feel change, and grow from change.
You can get rid of your stagnation. Invite the rushing waters of change into your life and enjoy their cleansing powers. Appreciate the exhiliration that new perspectives and new experiences will bring. By doing this you can grow instead of decay. The life you change will be yours.
Life is...at your own risk. The irony is that risk is one of the greatest gifts we were given at birth. Risk is a lifetime gift that allows us to create ourselves. The reality of being human is that you will make mistakes. As a human being, you are a learning creature by nature and design. When you look at mistakes as teachers, you can enhance your own sense of self. Some of the greatest learning experiences in your life probably came from mistakes you made. The only real mistake is one from which we learn nothing.
Preparation is the foundation for skill development. It is the antidote to fear and the essential ingredient for success. Preparation becomes a magnet that attracts opportunities. The more opportunities you have, the more fruitful your life can become. Preparation reduces risks, creates opportunities, and enhances potential for success. You have to choose for yourself what level of risk you are willing to take.
Love is the most concrete yet elusive of human experiences. Love is the most powerful human phenomenon, yet it is cloaked in mystery. Conditional love really is an oxymoron. True love is not conditional. True love is the union of two individuals who foster an environment where both can grow together and individually, where feelings are expressed with a sense of integrity and openness, where mutual concern for the other is present, and where both lives are enriched through the relationship. Love is the ultimate way of growth.
Relationships are an intriguing aspect of life. They are a study in contradictions; they produce paradoxical feelings ranging from clarity to confusion, from ecstacy to depression, from being on top of the world to being down in the dumps. Relationships arouse conflicting feelings in us, and maybe as a result, we have conflicting, even opposing, sayings about what relationships are.
10 Ways to Enhance a Relationship:
- Strike a balance between holding closely and giving space.
- Share decision-making.
- Focus on the we, not me.
- Make the relationship unconditional.
- Grow together and individually.
- Never take the other person for granted.
- Share your goals.
- Be open about your changing life views.
- Consciously work on renewing your relationship daily.
- Strengthen the relationships by allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
Relationships change from moment to moment and experience to experience. When you join your life and experiences with another person, you create the unknown, venturing into the worlds of discovery and growth. Your relationship goes through different stages and phases. Relationships change. It's a fact of life. They get better of they get worse, but they never stay the same. Relationships really are like a roller coaster. Reflect for a moment on relationships you've been in - maybe even the one you're in now. You change, the person you love changes. You can positively impact your relationship by openly communicating those changes. By sharing, you constantly clarify who you are and what is important to you. You also open the door for the person you love to share.
A strong relationship is based on the character of the people involved. It develops when you allow your personhood to be experienced by another and vice versa. It's based on emotions, values, beliefs, and interests - not on external perceptions.
Intimacy is the joining of two souls, whether for a moment or a lifetime. It is measured by an unconditional positive regard and respect for another. It promotes the flow of communication and inspires understanding. The guardian of intimacy is trust. Trust promotes, sustains, and cultivates intimacy. Although trust is based on reciprocity, don't hesitate to demonstrate your trust first. You will open the door to a fulfilling relationship and foster an environment where intimacy will flourish.
True friends are those with whom you can meet or speak even after a long absence and still have a magic connection, closing the time and distance. You start where you left off just as if moons and miles never separated the two of you. That's true friendship. Friendship is a rich ingredient in life's souffle. It adds the taste, the fulfillment, the texture. But life's souffle doesn't always turn out well. Sometimes it falls, or parts of it get burned, and sometimes it just tastes stale. Friends help with these disappointments. They provide comfort, the tender hug, or the outstretched hand. Friends let us cry and also help wipe the tears. They strengthen us in times of need.
Friends forgive us when we do stupid things, nourish us when we are emotionally drained, keep us on track when we begin to stray, and speak the truth to us (sometimes even when we don't want to hear it). Friends are the people who accept you the way you are. Period. They're always there for you, even when you stumble. They share your joys and sorrows, your ups and downs, your hair color changes and expanding waistline, your defeats, and your accomplishments. Friendship is a tough but worthwhile job.
One enemy we all have in common is urgency. When our lives become so hustle-bustle oriented we start to lose out on the miracles of living. To live to-now is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Enjoying the moment and living in the present creates tremendous tomorrows and fantastic futures. Not living in the now diminishes the moment and the morrow.
Talk with someone as if it is the last time you will ever talk with them.
Spend your time with people who are positive, people who give you energy (not drain it), who inspire and fulfill you. When you invest your time in these types of people, you want to have real conversations.
All jobs have the potential to provide you with additional pieces for your life puzzle. With each new experience come opportunities for growth. Your challenge is to seize the opportunities. Since life is such a gift, you owe it to yourself to find a job that fulfills your being. Evaluate your job status. Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I making a contribution?
- Am I learning something?
- Am I having fun?
For me to stay in a job I need to be making a contribution, learning something, and having fun. If one of those is missing, then it's time for me to look for a new job. Regardless of the kind of job, that job helps us clarify our values, beliefs, and desires. We also learn skills and develop talents. The person you are today is a combination of different pieces of your life. Assembled, they make you!
By changing the mindset from "I'm going to labor" to "I'm going to learn," you invite opportunities for growth. Your day is more exciting and more fulfilling. Successful folks have an unquenchable thirt for learning. They also say that the more they learn, the more they want to learn. It is a perpetual cycle that increases in magnitude as life goes on.
As you're coming home from work each day, challenge yourself to identify one thing you learned from the day. Begin your day by telling yourself to be on the lookout for learning possibilities. Transitions can serve as the bridge from ignorance to enlightenment, but you have to be willing wo cross over to discover the riches. Transitions are not easy, especially since emotions are involved.
There is one aspect of living where good intentions are simply not good enough: letting others know how you feel. You need to transform those intentions into action. If you don't share with others how you feel about them, then many things can result:
- You lose out on opportunities for relationship enhancement.
- You keep the lines of communication guarded.
- You might never get a second chance.
Two people would lose out - you and the other person.
Benefits of telling people how you feel:
- You connect soul to soul.
- Both parties are enriched.
- There will be no unfinished business.
- You create a whole relationship.
- You free yourself by not harboring ill feelings.
By disclosing your feelings, you let your true personhood shine through. You penetrate into deeper levels of a relationship and discover greater treasures. Sharing feelings creates authentic relationships that sustain us during difficult times, enhance our joys, and strengthen our hearts.
Withholding forgiveness creates a negative force that diminishes your sensibility and limits your self-actualization. Forgiveness cleanses the soul. It restores positive energy that propels you into the world of possibilities, opportunities, and optimal living. When you choose to forgive, you choose to live - fully!
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