Relationship Material

I will know love when I realize...the fibers of a relationship are constructed from the fibers of my heart.

Are you relationship material? The question is not are you looking for a relationship. Nor is it do you want a relationship. The question is, are you a clear example of the stuff a relationship is made of?

In order to be relationship material you must be able to open your heart to someone, and you must know what to do when they open their heart to you. You must be absolutely okay with every little thing that you know to be true about you. Now here's the kicker. Once you see yourself, you must be willing to allow others to see you exactly as you are! You must be able to stand before another person without fear, without excuses and with all of your defenses down. And if you cannot, you may not be relationship material.

If you are relationship material, you are trusting and trustworthy. If you are relationship material, when you dark hour is upon you, there is a light switch inside of you that you know how to turn on. By the same token, when your partner faces his/her own darkness, you are there. You don't fall apart because he/she seems to be falling apart.

In order to be relationship material, you must take a risk, tell the truth, trust that you will be heard. You must lay down all defenses, expectations and judgments. You must give without taking, grow without overshadowing, bend without feeling broken and know without doubt. Most important of all, you must know exactly what you want and be willing to ask for it, knowing exactly what you are willing to do if you do not get it.

Relationships are not easy! They are not easy to find, to get in or to stay in. And sometimes, you must answer the question, Why? Relationships are wonderful healing tools. A relationship can heal us of the fear of having a relationship. A relationship can heal you of the fear of being seen for who you are. When you pour the kind of love that a relationship requires into the darkness in your mind, everything comes to light. And that, my dear, is not an easy thing to see!

Relationships are wonderful teaching tools. A relationship makes very clear to you and others those things to which you have a tendency to selfishly cling -- thoughts, feelings, memories and sometimes possessions. A relationship will teach you what you really believe your all is worth. It will point out your need to be self-full, as you pursue your goal to be self-defined and self-reliant. When you are faced with the decision to hold on to or let go of the relationship, everything the relationship has taught you about yourself must be examined. And believe me, that is not an easy examination to make!

Relationships are God-given. This means they are a blessing! A relationship blesses you with the opportunity to share who you are with someone else who is willing to see the truth of who you are. A relationship is the home of love, which means it is a palace built by God. Unfortunately, it is not an easy task to keep the place clean!

Ask yourself questions in order to discover whether you are ready to have the relationship you are seeking. Until today, you may not have realized the healing effect of your relationships, or you may not have known what you were being taught about yourself. Just for today, look at all of your relationships. Embrace your healing needs. Recognize that there are still some things that you are learning about yourself.