Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Withholding Love

How do you withhold your love? We all do it at one time or another. We shut down, shut people out, refuse to budge from our opinions or demands. We hold people hostage, knowing that they care about us, because we are angry or upset with them. Sometimes we make ourselves busy. So busy in fact that we don't have time to address the issues, the feelings or the incidents that first led us to withhold our love.

When you refuse to share what you are feeling and how the other person has contributed to those feelings, you are withholding your love. When you don't provide the other person with valuable information that could make your relationship with them better, you are withholding your love. When you allow the fear of being hurt, the fear of being rejected, the fear of looking dumb make you act like you just don't care, you are withholding your love. Whenever you are not offering the truth of your experience to those who share the experience, you are withholding your love.

Whatever is not an expression of love is an expression of fear. Withholding love for any reason is a sign that we are crying out in fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear that our love will not be reciprocated. When you find yourself backing up, pulling back, withdrawing from another person, ask yourself, "Why am I withholding my love?" What you are likely to discover is that there is a hidden fear forcing you to to someting you would not like to have done to you.

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